Best Polyamory Books To Read In 2024

Last Updated:

January 12, 2024

Get ready to discover the essential books for exploring polyamory in 2024!

Books About Polyamory

Are you ready to explore the fascinating world of polyamory and discover the boundless possibilities of love and relationships? We have curated a list of must-read “polyamorous books” that offer invaluable insights and practical tools for individuals interested in exploring polyamory. Whether you are new to the concept or seeking to deepen your experienced understanding, these books provide essential resources to help you navigate the challenges and embrace the possibilities of polyamorous relationships.

Why should you read these books? Each book listed below offers a unique perspective and approach to Consensual NonMonogamy, providing valuable guidance and support tailored to your specific needs. From communication tools and advice, to self-reflection prompts and strategies for building secure attachments, these books cover a wide range of topics that can help you create healthy and fulfilling relationships.

Maybe you're just intrigued by the idea of non-monogamy and want to delve deeper into the subject. Even if you are only curious about polyamory and looking for guidance on navigating the complexities of non-monogamous relationships, then you've come to the right place.

We’ll dive into the details of each book so that you can discover the ones that resonate with you the most. Whether you are seeking practical advice, strategies for dealing with jealousy, or a comprehensive guide to alternative forms of love, these books will empower you to navigate the world of polyamory with confidence and self-awareness.

We’ve broken down this list into four sections, to help you find what might speak to you. First up are “New Releases” so that everyone can be fully up to date with all of the latest books on the subject that came out recently in 2023. Next we’ll bring you the “The Polyamory Bibles”, these are the titles that you will hear recommended over and over again in the ENM community. They are the old school go-to’s, and the ones that many of us started out by reading. After that we’ve got “Books for the Anxious or Jealous” with titles specifically about dealing with ugly feelings. Finally, for those of you in the early stages of “Thinking about Opening” we’ll introduce you to Let's Talk About... Non-Monogamy, a book full of questions and conversation starters for couples in the process of opening. Last but not least, we’ll tell you about some of the exciting new releases planned for 2024.

Today we are bringing you a list of – the best polyamory books to read in 2024 – specifically tailored to cater to various interests and perspectives. Each book offers a unique outlook and a wealth of knowledge to help you on your polyamorous journey. But what makes these books the best? Well, they offer more than just a glimpse into the world of polyamory; they provide practical advice, personal anecdotes, and thought-provoking discussions that will challenge your preconceived notions about relationships. From navigating jealousy and communication to building strong and healthy connections, these books are packed with invaluable wisdom that can help you navigate the complexities of polyamory with confidence.

So, whether you're a seasoned polyamorist looking to expand your knowledge or someone who is simply curious about exploring alternative relationship dynamics, these books on polyamorous relationships offer diverse and authentic perspectives on this exciting journey. Get ready to embark on a transformative reading experience that will open your mind, touch your heart, and inspire you to embrace love in all its infinite possibilities.

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Last Year’s New Releases

Let’s start off by looking at all of the latest and greatest new releases that came out in 2023, and what the last year brought to our non-monogamous book shelves. In our next section we’ll look at some of the classic “poly bibles” that have been revised and updated throughout the years, but to get things going in the new year we wanted to start with the new stuff.

We’ve ranked 2023's non-mono book releases in chronological order from most recent release to oldest, and here are the latest new release books on polyamory that came out last year. We think we got them all, but if we’re missing any, please be kind and let us know by telling us today!

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A Polyamory Devotional: 365 Daily Reflections

Freshly available as of October 20, 2023, A Polyamory Devotional: 365 Daily Reflections provides 365 daily prompts that encourage self-reflection. Brought to you by author Evita "Lavitaloca" Sawyers, a Black, queer, ethical nonmonogamy coach, speaker, educator and advocate, this book offers practical guidance drawn from Sawyers’ own experiences.

With a foreword by Chaneé Jackson Kendall and illustrations by Tikva Wolf of Kimchi Cuddles, A Polyamory Devotional: 365 Daily Reflections is yet another publication from our favorite publisher of books on polyamory, Thornapple Press. They are the publisher behind several of the books on this list, and have even more set to debut in 2024, which we can’t wait to tell you all about later in this guide. While you’re waiting for 2024’s new releases may we recommend picking up a copy of A Polyamory Devotional: 365 Daily Reflections to start your year off with some poly self-work.

Since the daily reflections are designed for someone who is already practicing polyamory, this book is more geared towards those already exploring polyamorous relationships, as opposed to couples thinking about opening up. If you’re just starting out on your journey to non-monogamy, don’t worry, the next book on this list is for you.

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PolyWise

The author of Polysecure, Jessica Fern, together with coauthor David Cooley, brought us PolyWise on August 25, 2023. As Fern described on an episode of the Multiamory podcast, PolyWise is based on the original pitch material that ended up becoming Polysecure. While Polysecure focused on attachment theory, PolyWise is more of a general polyamory guide book where Fern and Cooley are able to share their insights that didn’t fit in with the attachment theory theme of Polysecure. PolyWise promises a deeper dive into navigating open relationships.

By providing a conceptual framework for transitioning from monogamy to nonmonogamy, PolyWise offers practical strategies for dealing with common roadblocks like broken agreements, communication issues, fighting, and jealousy. Fern and Cooley share their insights into how to turn these challenges into opportunities for increased intimacy and clarity in your polyamorous relationships.

Not just for couples thinking about opening up, PolyWise offers a wealth of knowledge that will be valuable to experienced poly individuals as well as newbies alike. Since Polysecure was so popular and well received in the ENM/CNM community, we expect that PolyWise is very likely to be just as popular.

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Multiamory: Essential Tools for Modern Relationships

Last up on our list of Newest Releases is Multiamory: Essential Tools for Modern Relationships, which came out May 23, 2023. If you’ve been a long time fan of the podcast, you’re probably already familiar with this book from podcast creators Dedeker Winston, Emily Sotelo Matlack, and Jase Lindgren. Bringing the groundbreaking podcast into a book makes this a must-read for anyone living the polyamorous lifestyle. Multiamory: Essential Tools for Modern Relationships offers invaluable insights and practical advice to enhance your multiple open relationships.

If you’re looking for a book that delves deep into the intricacies of polyamory, and provides a comprehensive guide to building and maintaining successful multiple relationships, look no further. From communication techniques to managing jealousy, this book equips you with the essential tools to navigate the unique challenges of nonmonogamy. Drawing on the authors' personal experiences and extensive research, they share their strategies to help you create fulfilling and sustainable connections.

Whether you're new to polyamory or a seasoned practitioner, Multiamory: Essential Tools for Modern Relationships can be a game-changer, with its relatable anecdotes, expert advice, and actionable tips. Learn about strategies you hear talked about in the community from how to have a RADAR checkin, to how to reconnect after an argument with Repair SHOP. This book will empower you to cultivate healthy relationships that thrive on openness, trust, and respect.

Don't miss out on this transformative resource that will revolutionize your polyamorous journey, pickup a copy of Multiamory: Essential Tools for Modern Relationships and unlock the secrets to building extraordinary connections today.

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The Poly Bibles

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More than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory

When we first started writing this guide to books about polyamory, More than Two wasn’t going to be on this list, but then this happened in December 2023, on instagram:

If you aren’t already following @decolonizing.love on insta, then you should be, and you’re welcome.

Here’s the full hot take on what’s going on in that comments screenshot. @decolonizing.love had posted their own list of book suggestions, and we here over at @shopJustPolyThings were super surprised to see this book included on their list. If you don’t know about the drama that happened with the authors of More Than Two, grab some popcorn and read more about that here! The TLDR, is that Eve’s coauthor Franklin no longer has a good reputation, but @decolonizing.love was kind enough to bring us up to speed.

First published in 2014, More than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory was initially very popular before all of the drama happened between the authors. People stopped suggesting it after that. While it’s likely to remain controversial in the non-monogamous world, reading it for yourself, as well as taking the time to understand what portions are or may be problematic, is an advanced level exercise in understanding the practice of polyamory. With a new forward by Polysecure author Jessica Fern added in 2022, this one might even be worth a reread for those of us who are already familiar with it.

Did you also know that there is a second edition of More than Two in the works, that will be released later this year? More about this later in our Coming Soon in 2024 section.

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The Ethical Slut, Third Edition

You may have noticed that the screenshot above calls out The Ethical Slut for being “such white feminism” - what’s your take on this non-monogamy classic?

It proclaims itself as having been the “Poly Bible” for the last 20 years, and we have no idea how old that quote is because it’s actually been around educating people curious about polyamory since it was originally published 30 years ago in 1994. The latest version, the The Ethical Slut, Third Edition was released in 2017 and added interviews with poly millennials, additional LGBTQ+ topics like asexuality, as well as incorporating more gender neutral language.

While it’s not the highest rated polyamory book on amazon, coming in at only 4.7 stars (as of the time of writing), it seems to be the most popular. We say this because it has by far the most reviews when we compare it to other non-monogamy books in the Relationships category. The next two nonmonogamy books ranked in order of most reviews on amazon are Sex at Dawn and Polysecure, so we think that makes The Ethical Slut, Third Edition, one of the most popular “poly bibles” if not the best. By the way, if you’re wondering why Sex at Dawn isn’t on this list of - The Best Polyamory Books To Read in 2024 - well, it’s because Sex at Dawn isn’t a book about polyamory, it’s a book about evolutionary biology, but don’t worry, we plan to add it to our site soon!

Polysecure

When it comes to popular authors, the CNM/ENM community has a really big crush right now on Jessica Fern, a polyamorous psychotherapist. Fern is the author behind Polysecure, and The Polysecure Workbook, is also coauthor of PolyWise with David Cooley, and penned a forward for the 8th printing of More than Two.

Since Polysecure debuted in 2020 with a focus on applying attachment theory from psychology to the practice of polyamory, it has quickly shot to the top of many poly people’s reading lists, and has become widely recommended. Some in the non-monogamous community consider it required reading for navigating secure attachment based relationships.

In Polysecure, Fern gives you six strategies for maintaining secure attachment in multiple relationships, as well as a deeper understanding of attachment and trauma. Covering both theory and practical examples of how emotional experiences impact our relationships this is a comprehensive guide for anyone looking to maintain or grow the depth of their multiple connections.

You don’t have to start with an understanding of attachment styles like secure, avoidant, or anxious, to understand the feelings and situations described in Polysecure, but anyone with experience learning about attachment styles will likely relate to and appreciate this psychological perspective.

And then of course there is Polysecure's companion, The Polysecure Workbook…

The Polysecure Workbook

Based on the concepts outlined in Polysecure, the companion workbook is designed to help you build personal security by providing the tools you need to navigate the complexities of multiple loving relationships. You can use it standalone or pick it up along with a copy of Polysecure for a deeper understanding. The Polysecure Workbook was developed to help you address attachment challenges and develop security in your relationships with practical exercises. It will prompt you to explore your attachment history, motivations for nonmonogamy, and how you rely on relationship structures for your attachment security. It encourages you to reflect on yourself, as well as equips you with the tools you need to be successful.

If you’ve already read all three of these “Poly Bibles” on our list, then you might be ready to consider yourself a polyamory expert. Do you want to write for us? No really, the nonmonogamous community is small, and we want to promote its voices. We’re always looking for experienced poly people to tell their stories, and contribute, visit our Call for Blog Contributors & Partners post to learn more.

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Books for the Anxious or Jealous

The Anxious Person’s Guide to Non-Monogamy

In The Anxious Person’s Guide to Non-Monogamy, author Lola Phoenix shares their experiences and advice to help readers navigate the challenges of open relationships. Readers will gain an understanding of the emotional aspects of non-monogamy, such as dealing with jealousy and judgment, managing anxiety, and maintaining your independence. Phoenix also shares practical advice for dealing with scheduling, negotiating boundaries, and managing your open relationship expectations.

Geared towards anyone who identifies with an anxious attachment style or feels “anxious” in general, you don’t have to have an understanding of attachment styles, or to have read Polysecure, to learn emotional tools for managing relationship anxiety from this book. Whether you are new to the concept of open relationships or have been practicing for years, this book covers various stages of the journey, emphasizing the importance of mental health and well-being.

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Compersion: Polyamory Beyond Jealousy

In this book, author Hypatia From Space, invites you to embark on a journey to discover and fully embrace compersion. If you’re not familiar with the term, “compersion” in a polyamorous relationship is the feeling of joy and happiness associated with your partner having other partners. Feeling happy at seeing how happy your metamour (your partner's partner) makes your partner, for example, is a feeling of compersion. It’s sometimes described as being the opposite feeling of jealousy.

Hypatia believes that compersion is attainable for every polyamorous individual, but also that it can be cultivated instead of just wishing that it would come to us naturally. With extensive research and suggestions for both cultivating compersion in yourself, and supporting it in your partners, in Compersion: Polyamory Beyond Jealousy, Hypatia emphasizes the importance of growing compersion in your open relationships instead of just managing jealousy.

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The Polyamory Toolkit

Released in 2019, The Polyamory Toolkit by authors Dan and Dawn Williams provides specific “tools” to deal with specific circumstances that are common in polyamorous relationships. Having practiced polyamory themselves for over 20 years before publishing this resource, Dan and Dawn Williams, learned the hard way, through trial and error what works and does not work in nonmonogamous relationships. When they started out there was very little out there in terms of resources and guides, so they had to make their own way. Now readers can learn from their successes and mistakes.

With an accessible and conversational tone, this is a great book to read together as a couple, since it was written by one. Covering topics that range from One Penis Policies, to compersion, to going back to monogamy after opening, this book is very comprehensive in the polyamorous situations that it addresses. Expand your toolkit by picking up a copy of The Polyamory Toolkit today!

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The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory

If you’ve ever heard (or fallen for) the myth that women are less inclined to non monogamy than men, then you should read The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory. As opposed to the traditional monogamous relationship advice that is usually found in magazines and other publications aimed at women, this book offers realistic advice on polyamory, open relationships, and alternative forms of love. Covering a wide range of topics from opening up a monogamous relationship, to exploring group sex, this intelligent guide book offers a refreshing perspective on navigating non-traditional relationships.

Offering practical advice and exercises, in this book you’ll find valuable insights for women interested in exploring polyamory. Readers will learn about building self-awareness, confidence in communication, and strategies for managing jealousy to help them build healthy and fulfilling open relationships. Coming from author Dedeker Winston of the Multiamory podcast, you can rest assured that the advice and suggestions found in The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory are based on her real-world experience and expertise in nonmonogamy.

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Thinking about opening up?

Let's Talk About... Non-Monogamy

Every year previously monogamous couples make the exciting decision to venture into exploring the worlds of nonmonogamy and polyamory. Some of them will be more successful than others. Is 2024 the year that you are thinking about taking the leap, or who have you already started?

If you’re thinking about opening, or have just opened a relationship, then you already know that communication is priority number one! In this book, Let's Talk About... Non-Monogamy author J. R. James provides couples with a framework and platform to have open and comfortable conversations about exploring non-monogamy.

By suggesting specific questions and talking points for any couple thinking about opening up, this book walks you through the process of determining your preferred style of non-monogamy and establishing clear boundaries. Being unprepared for the journey into polyamory can lead to negative outcomes such as jealousy, hurt feelings, and destroyed relationships, but up front and honest communication can prevent these common pitfalls. Designed to be great for couples of any gender configuration or sexual orientation, let this book guide your conversations around consensual nonmonogamy so that you don’t fail on step 1 - communication.

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Coming Soon in 2024

In addition to authoring one of the poly bibles we mentioned above, More than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory, author Eve Rickert has also curated a series of related guides that expand on the concepts originally identified in More than Two, and focus on specific issues that are common in the practice of polyamory.

We’re pleased to announce that three more guides in the “A More Than Two Essentials Guide” series are due to be released in 2024 by Thornapple Press:

Nonmonogamy and Death: A More Than Two Essentials Guide, coming out March 29, 2024, by author Kayden Abley

Nonmonogamy and Jealousy: A More Than Two Essentials Guide – April 5, 2024, by Eve Rickert

Post-nonmonogamy and Beyond: A More Than Two Essentials Guide, releasing August 9, 2024, by author Andrea Zanin

But more guides are not all of the exciting news from Thornapple Press and Eve Rickert in 2024, because there is also a brand new version of More than Two in the works. A long awaited second edition is due to be released in collaboration with author Andrea Zanin later this year.

Due out on September 2, 2024, More Than Two: Cultivating Nonmonogamous Relationships with Kindness and Integrity, Second edition is a long awaited revision to the original More than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory, which was first published 10 years ago in 2014. We can only assume that this second edition revision will remove and revise sections related to the controversy with Rickert’s original coauthor Franklin Veaux. Stay tuned for more on this exciting new release!

Coming out in September 2024: More Than Two: Cultivating Nonmonogamous Relationships with Kindness and Integrity Second edition, by Eve Rickert with Andrea Zanin

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Recap of The Best Polyamory Books To Read in 2024

Once more, with feeling, these are the books we suggest you start with in 2024, to kick off your year of polyamorous learning!

A Polyamory Devotional: 365 Daily Reflections

"A Polyamory Devotional" by Evita "Lavitaloca" Sawyers offers a guided tour of self-reflection for those interested in ethical nonmonogamy, providing daily prompts to develop emotional diligence and reminding readers that they don't have to navigate polyamory alone. The book aims to simplify the complexities of polyamory and offers support for individuals seeking to love authentically.

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A Polyamory Devotional offers a guided tour of self-reflection, making the process of ethical nonmonogamy more manageable.
The book provides 365 daily prompts to help develop emotional diligence and navigate the challenges of polyamory.
It reminds readers that they don't have to navigate polyamory alone, offering support and encouragement for those overwhelmed by the emotional process.